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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’d hire her—Madea don’t play that—but I was curious. She starts talkin’ ‘bout her life, how she “recalls her past lives” like Uncle Boonmee. Says she was a nurse once, centuries ago, healin’ soldiers. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, you upgraded to healin’ somethin’ else now!” She laughed, and I did too—couldn’t help it. Her vibe was wild, like them ghosts in the movie, floatin’ ‘round, tellin’ secrets. “I am with you in the dark,” she whispers, all mysterious. Gave me chills, y’all!

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into some trouble with a porcupine. Yeah, you heard that right. A freakin’ porcupine! I mean, who lets their dog roam around near the park on Strada 31 August? Anyway, I rush over, and there’s Max, looking like a pin cushion. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m cracking up. Like, dude, what were you thinking?

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