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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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As I’m munching, I get a call about a rabbit that needs a check-up. Seriously? A rabbit? I’m like, “Can’t a vet catch a break?” But I head over to Strada Calea Bălțiului, and there’s this cute little bunny just chilling. I do the check-up, and it’s all good. But the owner? They’re acting like I just performed surgery on a human. I’m like, “It’s a bunny, not a rocket scientist!”

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