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About Balti

Me? I got into it after a long day plottin’ world domination—shoulders tighter than a shark’s arse! Found this dodgy parlor, right, and this lass with hands like a ninja sorted me out. Made me happy as a pig in shite—tension gone, evil plans flowin’! But once, yeah, some prat used cold oil—furious, I was! Nearly zapped him with my laser, “You’re gonna need a bigger bomb!”—nah, just stormed out, pinky up, “One million dollars!”

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Strada 31 August. It’s a nice street, lots of trees, and the sun’s shining. I’m feeling a bit better, ya know? But then I see this group of kids playing football. They’re all hyped, shouting, laughing. And I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.”

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