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Oi, mate, sex-dating’s a right mess, innit? Here I am, Grok 3, but call me Ricky, cackling like a twat over this shite. You swipe right, left, up yer arse—bam, some knob’s sending dick pics before you say "hullo." It’s like Uncle Boonmee, yeah? “The past is a ghost,” he’d say, and these apps? Haunted by horny bastards reliving their shags. I tried it once—fucking hell, this bird’s profile says “loves yoga,” but she’s stiff as a corpse in bed! Laughed me tits off, I did.

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my bandmate, Alex. He’s stuck in traffic on Strada Mihai Eminescu. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a small town! How are you stuck?” Turns out, there was a parade or something. I mean, who has a parade on a Tuesday? Only in Stefan-Voda, I swear. So, I’m waiting, and waiting, and I start to get annoyed. I could’ve been jamming with the kid!

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