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Aight, mate, listen up! Me, Gollum, car instructor, yeh? We’s talkin’ erotic-massage today—precious, slippery stuff! We hates it! All them oily hands slidin’ round, ugh, nasty! Reminds me of *Under the Skin*, y’know? That flick—scarlet Johansson luring blokes, all sensual-like, then—bam!—they’re gone, sucked into goo! Erotic-massage got that vibe, sneaky and weird.

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After that, I’m thinking, “Okay, it can’t get worse.” But then, this old dude gets in. He’s got this huge bag, and I’m like, “What’s in there, a whole cow?” He’s mumbling about the best fishing spots near the Nistru River. I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Dude, I’m not a fishing guide.”

People from Rezina and Ribnita will cross with more confidence the bridge over Nistru, even during the nights, thanks to an EU project