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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s wrap this day up.” I head back to Strada 31 August, and guess what? The café is open again! I grab a coffee, and it’s like a warm hug in a cup. I sit outside, watching the world go by.

Moldova will receive €53 million from the EU for the repair of the Velchinets-Cainari railway section