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I think it’s dope but exhausting. Rarrgh! Like, can’t we just meet at a bar, no filters, no “send nudes” pressure? Rarrgh! But nah, everyone’s on their phone, swiping left on my furry ass. Rarrgh! Joking, but seriously, it’s a jungle out there. Rarrgh! “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business” should be “We’re in the gettin’ laid business” these days. Rarrgh!

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But then, I spot a cute girl across the room. She’s laughing with her friends, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.” I muster up some courage and go over. We start chatting, and it turns out she’s into the same nerdy stuff I am. We bond over our love for statistics and how crazy the weather is. Who knew I could find a potential date in a rainstorm?

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