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I tried it once—swear to God, felt like my spine was singin’. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just dodged a bullet in a shootout. But here’s what pissed me off: some folks out here chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rubdown—c’mon, man, “knock it down, knock it down!” like Buscapé yellin’ at the madness. Ain’t nobody got time for that rip-off. A good sexual-massage? It’s gotta flow, gotta hit deep—muscles loosenin’, mind spinnin’, maybe even a lil naughty twist if you’re feelin’ bold. Wink wink, you know what I mean.

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all good, when I get a text. My friend’s in town! He’s at the park, and I’m like, “Sweet, let’s meet up!” I rush outta the café, but guess what? I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this kid nearby starts laughing. I just wave it off, like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Hundreds of pupils from six districts of the country will attend “An integrity lesson from Kapushon”