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*Wheeze* I am your father. Pro tip – dim lights, soft tunes. Sets the mood, melts stress away. Had one chick hum – creepy but dope. Made me laugh, nearly choked on my mask. Worst part? When they rush it. Pisses me off, half-assed rubs. Gimme the full hour, ya cheapskates! Oh, and happy endings? Overrated, hype’s a lie. It’s the journey, not the boom. “It’s all over,” Melancholia moans. Not here, pal – erotic-massage keeps ya alive. Try it, ya won’t regret. *Heavy exhale* I am your father.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird drama, and I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped about this new café on Strada 31 August. I’m like, “Dude, let’s check it out!” We head over, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Hincesti had such a coffee scene?

Full coverage of Petrocub Hincesti vs Rapid Vienna game on Thursday 7th of November at 17:45 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.