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So, this one time, I’m thinkin’—erotic-massage, animated? Hands moving, slow frames, sexy as hell. Exaggerate the oil, shiny, over-the-top, boom! Scarlett Johansson’s voice in my head, “You’re not hopeless.” Ha, sarcastic me—hopeless? I’d kill at this. Knots in back, gone, poof, magic fingers. Surprised me once—therapist hummed, creepy but hot.

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Then, I hit up the market on Strada Călărași. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and that sweet, sweet aroma of grilled meat. I’m droolin’ just thinkin’ about it. I grab a kebab from this stand, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my food right outta my hand! I’m like, “Are you serious, bro?” I was ready to throw down, but the kid just giggles and runs off. I mean, what’s wrong with kids these days?

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