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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the park near Strada Vasile Alecsandri. It’s a nice spot, you know? I plop down on a bench, munching on my peaches. Life’s good again. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks my peaches outta my hand! I’m like, “Dude, chill!” Kids these days, right?

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