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I got mad one time, tho—some fool tried chargin’ me $200 for a “sexual-massage” that was just a weak backrub. Bruh, I was heated! I’m like, “Where’s the passion, fam? Where’s the soul?” Shoulda been floatin’ like Jen Yu leapin’ off cliffs, but nah, I felt robbed. Then this chick in Miami—oh man, she flipped the script! Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Had me smilin’ like a kid with candy, swear to God. Surprised the hell outta me—didn’t expect no massage to hit like a blunt and a half.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped about some new place opening on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. “You gotta check it out!” he says. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So we head over, and it’s a pizza joint. But not just any pizza—Causeni-style pizza! They put everything on it. I mean, everything. Pickles, corn, even some weird sauce. I’m like, “What is this madness?” But I try it. And wow, it’s surprisingly good! Who knew Causeni could do pizza like this?

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