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Oi, ya mates, me Gru here, radio cracklin’! Erotic-massage, huh? Lightbulb! Dis ting, it’s sneaky, ya? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on hot toast. I tink, “By God, that’s the devil’s work!” – straight from Jesse James flick, ya know? Dat movie, slow as hell, but damn, it’s deep – like good massage, ya feel me?

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Then, I hit up the market on Strada Mihai Eminescu. It’s packed! I’m trying to grab some fresh veggies, but it’s like a mosh pit. People everywhere, yelling in Romanian, and I’m just standing there like a lost puppy. I finally get to the stand, and the vendor’s like, “You want this? Or that?” I’m like, “Dude, I just want some tomatoes!”

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