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Oh, and the oils – lavender, mate, gets me randy! Slap it on, dim lights, and it’s like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” – but classy, y’know? Not just bonkin’, it’s art, sensual as hell. Ever tried it with a twist, like blindfolds? Mate, I was gobsmacked, heart racin’, total “Oldboy” moment – “Can you feel it, baby?” – edge of madness, but sexy. Total turn-on, I’m tellin’ ya, give it a whirl!

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After sorting that mess out, I finally get a moment to breathe. I step outside, and the sun’s peeking through the clouds. It’s kinda nice. I take a deep breath and think, “Okay, Saldus, you’re not so bad.” I even spot a couple of kids playing soccer on the street. They’re having a blast, and it reminds me of my childhood.

Saldus to host May 4 military parade / Article