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About Rezekne

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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Next, I decide to check out the Krustpils Castle. It’s this old, cool place. I’m wandering around, and it’s like stepping back in time. But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re taking selfies like it’s the last day on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to enjoy the view, and they’re all, “Say cheese!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the trees.”

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