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I’m picturin’ it—me, hirin’ a gal, *Only Lovers* style. She shows up, leather jacket, smokey eyes—“This blood is expensive, darling.” I’d lose it! “Expensive? I’m payin’ for vibes here!” Happy? Sure, if she’s chill. Angry? If she’s late—punctuality, people! Surprised? Once saw a hooker dodge a cop by divin’ into a dumpster—Olympic-level move. I was dyin’ laughin’, “Pretty, pretty good escape!”

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But then, as I was eating, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were talking about something ridiculous, like who left the toilet seat up. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, really? You’re in Jurmala, and that’s what you’re fighting about?

Four beaches in Jurmala awarded Blue Flag status