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About Valmiera

Funny thing—dudes think it’s all ‘bout nuttin’. Nah, motherfucker, it’s deeper! You’re unclenchin’ life’s bullshit, one rub at a time. I’m tellin’ ya, next time you’re stressed, get that sexual-massage. Ain’t no shame, just glory. Fuck, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s dope, it’s real, it’s messy like *Amour*. “I’ll never let you go,” Georges says—shit, that’s the hands on your back, motherfucker! Try it, report back—I’m waitin’!

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Finally, I hit up the local café, you know, the one with the best pastries. I order a cinnamon roll, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, just enjoying life, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m like, “Yikes, get a room!” But then, they start laughing. I’m confused. Like, are they fighting or flirting?

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