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Now, I done heard—back in Thailand, way back, them monks was givin’ massages to heal folk, but some sneaky devils flipped it, added a lil’ spice, and bam—sexual-massage was born! Ain’t that wild? History’s freaky like that, y’all. I’m over here cacklin’—imagine Madea gettin’ one, screamin’, “Get them paws off my biscuits!” Halleluyer!

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So, I roll outta bed, still half-asleep, and head out. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be lit!” But then, boom! I step outside, and it’s like the universe flipped a switch. First thing I see? A cat. A fat, fluffy cat just chillin’ on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Dude, you own this street now?”