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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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Then, I decide to hit up the Cēsis Castle. You know, the one that’s been around since, like, forever? I’m wandering around, and it’s all cool and historical, but then I trip over a stone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists walks by. They’re all like, “Is this part of the tour?” Ugh, so embarrassing! I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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