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About Valmiera

Alright, so here’s the deal—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, what’s the vibe? I’m Larry David, neurotic as hell, and I’m goin’, “Ehhh, is this even worth it?” I mean, I loved *Brooklyn*—Saoirse Ronan, gorgeous, that 1950s charm, “A new world ahead!”—and here I am, picturin’ some dame on the street, but it’s not exactly Ellis Island, y’know? It’s more like, “Oh great, another transaction gone wrong!” Pretty, pretty good chance I’ll screw this up.

Is prostitution illegal in Malaysia? You might be blown by the answer.

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After that, I get a call from my buddy, Janis. He’s at the beach, right? I’m stuck in this elevator, and he’s like, “Dude, the sun is perfect! You should be here!” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the reminder, Janis. I’m just here, trapped in a metal box.” Bolderaja’s got that nice beach vibe, but I’m stuck in this elevator. Ugh.

Latvian police commence criminal proceedings over defacing of “Bolderaja” sign