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I’d design a game bout it, too. Call it *Rub-a-Dub Royale*. You’d level up by makin’ clients happy—knead here, oil there! Maybe add a mini-game where you dodge creeps tryna ruin the vibe. “I’m not a miracle worker!”—that’s what I’d say, like Etheline in the movie when stuff gets nuts. Oh, and fun fact—didja know in Japan they got this thing called “nurumassage”? Slippery as heck, all gel and giggles! Blew my mind when I found that out.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughin’ at the absurdity of it all. I mean, who gets rained on while admiring a castle? Only me, right?

Lisa Buckwitz breaks through to claim maiden European monobob title in Sigulda