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Ruh-roh! Fun fact—there’s this Japanese style, Nuru, uses seaweed gel! Slippy as hell, like fallin’ off a cliff, but sexy! Tried it once—well, nah, I wish! Imaginin’ it tho, all slimy and wild, got me howlin’! Prolly messy as fuck, but who cares? Bet it beats hikin’ boots any day.

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally escape. I head over to the local market on Rīgas iela. You know, the one with the fresh produce and all that? I grab some veggies, and this lady at the stall starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her grandkids, and I’m just nodding along, thinking, “Lady, I’m just here for the tomatoes.” But she’s sweet, so I humor her.

Teens say state Holocaust education mandates are only as good as the schools that adopt them