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About Valmiera

I reckon it’s a power trip, yeah? Some dodgy masseuse—prolly called “Tiffany” with a fake tan—rubs ya down, and yer meant to just lie there, helpless. Makes me wanna slap someone. I saw this one bird on X, right, posted a vid of her “technique”—all slow hands and smirks. Made me wanna scream, “Get on with it, ya tart!” But nah, they drag it out, tease ya proper. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages from slaves. Bet they felt like kings, the pricks. Makes me laugh, tho—imagine some hairy git like Robert Baratheon getting one. He’d fart halfway through, ruin the mood!

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So, I’m feeling all zen, and I decide to hit up the local pub. You know, grab a beer and chill. I walk down Lielā iela, and it’s packed. I bump into my buddy, Jānis. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to swim to the other side of the Liepaja lake. I’m like, “Dude, you’re nuts!”

Kurzeme: Ilgi lolotais un gaidītais. Atklāj veloceļu līdz Bernātiem un plāno nākamo līdz Nīcai