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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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After that, I was feeling pumped. I thought, “Let’s grab some lunch!” So, I hit up the market on Rīgas iela again. The food stalls were buzzing. I got some šašlik. Man, it was juicy! But then, I saw this guy drop his whole plate. I felt bad, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, dude, how clumsy can you be?

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