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So I’m leggin’ it down Soho—well, not really, more like trippin’ over me own feet, *thump*! Faceplant, classic Bean move. This bird, right, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than me attention span. I go, “Errr, hullo!” all twitchy, an’ she’s like, “Wot you after, love?” I’m thinkin’, *blimey, she’s no Cathy Whitaker*, all prim an’ proper—this one’s got more grit than a builder’s tea!

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Then, I ran into my buddy, Jānis. He’s always got the craziest stories. He told me about this time he tried to swim in the Daugava River. I was like, “Bro, you know it’s freezing, right?” But he’s all, “I’m a pro!” Classic Jānis.

Some Jēkabpils residents can return home Monday / Article