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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout sexual-massage! It’s like heaven done touched yo’ back, honey! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how them hands be rubbin’, and I’m like, “Lordy, that’s a hallelujah moment!” You know I love me that movie, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—ooh, that Kim Ki-duk knew how to make ya *feel* thangs! Sexual-massage? It’s like that scene where the monk ties that stone to hisself—pressure, release, pressure, release, ya feel me?

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Then I hit up the market on Brīvības iela. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of baked goods. I grab a pastry, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinking, “Lady, chill! It’s just cabbage!”