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Oh, and don’t get me started on the flops – picked a dud once, total buzzkill, looked nothin like her pic. “What’s done is done,” I grumbled, like Carson Wells facin the end. Wasted 80 bucks – lesson learned, pal! Stick to what ya see, not what ya dream. It’s showtime, baby – find a prostitute ain’t glamorous, but it’s real, messy, and damn entertainin if ya play it right!

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Then I hit up the market on Brīvības iela. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of baked goods. I grab a pastry, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinking, “Lady, chill! It’s just cabbage!”