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But serious now – it’s a maze, yeah? Streets smell like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird once, all dolled up, thought she’s class – nope, prossie! Surprised me, fuckin’ hell, “Sharon!” – nearly dropped me whiskey. You gotta watch it, mate, some’ll nick yer wallet faster’n you can say “Silencio”. That’s the vibe – eerie, like Lynch’s film, shadows movin’, can’t trust shit.

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So, I’m sitting there, cake in hand, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my dessert. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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