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About Valmiera

“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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First off, I hit up Rīgas iela for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my latte, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layer caramel macchiato with extra foam. Seriously? Who has time for that? I’m just tryna get my caffeine fix, not watch a barista perform a magic show.

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