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About Jurmala

Sexual-massage can be dodgy—some parlors are fronts, shady as fuck. But when it’s legit? Pure bliss, fam. Ever hear ‘bout Tantric massage? Old Indian trick—slow, steamy, builds you up ‘til you’re screamin’ inside. Not just a wank—it’s spiritual, like Adèle’s “You’re my everything.” Gets me buzzin’, thinkin’—damn, humans are wild! I reckon it’s the tease that hooks me—half the fun’s in the waitin’. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot the fakers—rushed jobs, no soul. Pisses me off!

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Finally, I escape. I head to the Balozi market. It’s buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of baked bread. I grab some strawberries, and they’re so sweet! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a cucumber. Like, really? It’s a cucumber, not a gold bar!

Balozi Beer is now available in a can