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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kickin’ a soccer ball. He nails me right in the shin! I’m like, “Ouch, kid!” But he just laughs and runs off. I can’t help but chuckle. Kids are wild, man.

Weekend destination: Night of Legends in Latvian manors and castles