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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on Rue de la Libération. I’m like, “Cool, let’s grab some coffee.” I hit up this cute little café on Avenue de la Liberté. Best croissants ever, I swear! But guess what? They ran out. Like, how do you run out of croissants in the morning? I was ready to throw a fit.

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