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About Dudelange

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, all decked out in his cycling gear. He’s like, “Yo, gimme a double shot!” I’m like, “Sure, buddy, but you might wanna slow down. You’re gonna be bouncing off the walls!” He laughs, but I’m serious. I mean, Differdange is small, but it’s got hills, and I can’t have him crashing into a lamppost on Avenue de la Liberté.

Criminal investigation opened into hazardous leak in Differdange