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Still, gotta respect the hustle – they’re entrepreneurs, innit? Self-employed, makin’ bank, no 9-to-5 bollocks. Makes me jealous as hell – stuck in me Wernham Hogg cage while they’re out livin’! “The more you know someone…” Bob says, and I’m noddin’ – escorts get that, they read ya like a book. Proper legends. Reckon Sofia Coppola’d approve – quiet strength, subtle power, yeah?

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But then, I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m talking about the good stuff, folks. I grab a piece of that creamy Brie, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, cheese in one hand, and I see this old man sitting on a bench nearby. He’s just staring at me, like I’m some kind of cheese goddess. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Father and young daughter die in road accident