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Aight, funny story—dude I know went to this chick, thought it was just a chill massage, right? Nah, fam, she flipped the script, full-on sexual-massage mode! He’s textin’ me like, “Drake, help, I’m in too deep!” I’m dyin’, laughin’, like, “Disgust just clocked in, my guy!” Pro tip: always ask upfront, ‘cause some spots play coy, then boom—happy ending you didn’t sign up for. Wild, right?

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Then we head down to Rue de la Libération. I’m getting a bit annoyed, not gonna lie. I mean, I got stuff to do! But then, outta nowhere, I spot this little kid with ice cream. And I’m like, “Man, I need that in my life.” So, I grab a cone. Best decision ever!

Ettelbruck and Grevenmacher centres now closed: 9,000 consultations carried out at temporary care centres