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Here’s a funny bit—dude I know, right, swears he got a sexual-massage from a chick who used to be a wrestler. Big hands, bro, like she could choke a bear! He’s like, “Snoop, I was scared and turned on, same time!” I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ him moanin’ while she’s flexin’. Shit’s hilarious, but real—happened in Bangkok, ‘bout five years back. Prolly still out there, crushin’ it.

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Finally, we’re back at the café, defeated. I’m about to order another coffee when—wait for it—the dog strolls in! Like, seriously? It was just chillin’ at the café the whole time! I can’t even. The dude is over the moon. I’m just relieved.

Literary Legends: Grevenmacher revisited: on dancing devils, brothels, and cursed sneezers