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But here’s what pisses me off – some dodgy parlors out there, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack squat. Total con! Makes me wanna grab my Walther PPK and sort ‘em out. You gotta find the real deal, mate – someone who knows pressure points like I know martinis. Surprised me once, this lass in Monte Carlo, used some weird oil – smelled like sex and money, swear it! “Sell me this pen,” I joked, but she just smirked and kept goin’. Cheeky minx.

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Then, I decide to check out the local shops. I hit up this little boutique on the Avenue du Luxembourg. They had some cool stuff, but I’m not really a shopping kinda guy. I’m more of a “let’s chop wood” kinda dude. But I end up buyin’ a quirky T-shirt that says “Esch is my happy place.” I mean, it’s true, right?

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