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What gets me goat tho—angry as a stalled engine—is them posh twats judgin’ ‘er. Like, mate, she’s out ‘ere workin’, not nickin’ yer silver spoons! *huffs, crosses arms, trips again* Ooh, nearly lost me specs! Anyhow, she’s got this smirk, yeah? Happy as a clam, like she knows summat we don’t. Maybe she’s thinkin’, “In spring, everythin’ blooms,” like in me fave flick—‘cept her bloom’s a bit, er, naughtier, eh? *wiggles eyebrows, snorts*

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So, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My computer’s acting up. Like, come on! I swear it has a personal vendetta against me. I’m trying to fix it, and my coworker, Darius, walks in with this huge coffee. He’s all like, “You want some?” I’m like, “Dude, I need a miracle, not coffee!” But I take it anyway. Caffeine = life.

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