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What pisses me off? The ghostin’. Match with some hottie, talk dirty, then—POOF—gone. Like, bitch, I just told ya my fave position! Don’t leave me hangin’ like I’m stuck in a tree mid-drop! But when it hits? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—ecstatic! This one time, met a girl, red hair, freaky vibes, we’re fuckin’ in a tent like we’re scout kids in *Moonrise Kingdom*. “This is our land!” I’m yellin’ in my head, dick deep in the mission. Best night ever—felt like a damn hero.

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I get to the lab, and guess what? My colleague, Tomas, is already there, blasting some weird techno music. I mean, c’mon, it’s 8 AM! Who needs that kind of energy? I’m still half-asleep, and he’s ready to rave. I told him to chill, but he just laughed. Typical Tomas.

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