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About Alytus

So, I’m out ere, tryna find a prossie, yeah? Streets buzzin’, I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—cos some geezers give me dodgy looks, innit! Makes me vexed, bruv, proper fumin’. Like, why’s it gotta be a mission? Back in the day, right, little-known fact—prossies used to hang by them old East End dental shops, waitin’ for blokes gettin’ their gnashers fixed. True story, fam! Swear down, me nan told me that one.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vytauto street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee and a šakotis. I mean, who can resist that? But then, the barista—let’s call her “Coffee Queen”—totally messed up my order. I got a black coffee instead of my usual caramel latte. Ugh! I was like, “Do I look like I drink black coffee?” But whatever, I chugged it down. Gotta fuel up, right?

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