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So, I’m out there, yeah, dodgin’ creeps, thinkin’—where’s this bird at? Prostitution’s old as dirt, mate—did ya know in ancient Babylon they had temple hookers? Sacred shaggin’ for the gods! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, cos here I am, Gandalf, skirtin’ past some grubby bloke who’s all “Oi, mate, got a quid?” Nah, pal, I’m on a mission—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I ain’t stoppin’ for your sob story.

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I dash over to the market on Vilniaus Street. The smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I grab a slice of that šakotis, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, savoring it, when I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling about a lost dog. I’m like, “Dude, focus on the cake!” But then I see the dog. It’s this tiny fluffball, and my heart melts.

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