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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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So, I’m mixing dough, and my mind’s racing. I’m thinkin’ about the fresh pastries I gotta whip up for the morning rush. You know, croissants, buns, the whole shebang. But then, BOOM! My mixer decides to throw a tantrum. Like, seriously? It’s 4 AM, and you wanna break down now? I’m cursing like a sailor, and my cat, Pudding, is just staring at me like I’m the crazy one.

Lithuania’s Kaunas mulls building tram line