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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Alytus, and I swear, it felt like the universe was throwing curveballs at me left and right. First off, I hit the streets of Maironio. You know, the one with all the cafes? Yeah, I thought I’d grab a coffee at that little spot, “Kava ir Saldumynai.” Best coffee in town, no cap. But guess what? They were outta my fave hazelnut syrup. Like, seriously? Who runs out of hazelnut syrup?

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