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I tried it once—hell yeah, I did! This chick, hands like fuckin’ magic, hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had. Made me happy as shit, but—BOOM—pissed me off too! Why? ‘Cause I ain’t know ‘bout it sooner! Wasted years, motherfucker! Little fact for ya—Thailand’s got this style, “Nuru,” slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel. Seaweed, motherfucker! Who thinks that shit up? Genius!

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But wait, there’s more! I get back to the clinic, and there’s a lady with a parrot. Yup, a parrot. She’s convinced it’s sick because it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s adamant. So, I do a check-up, and guess what? The parrot just wanted attention. I’m rolling my eyes, but hey, I get it. Sometimes you just need a little love, right?

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