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About Alytus

Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin here, thinkin—why’s this even a thing? I mean, it’s like, you’re gettin rubbed down, all sensual-like, and bam—“You’re in a dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*. Pretty, pretty good, right? But also, what the hell! I tried it once, some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin, and I’m like, “Am I relaxed or just confused?” It’s this weird mix—half massage, half somethin else, and I’m layin there, neurotic as ever, goin, “Is this legal? Am I Leonardo DiCaprio now?”

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But then, I see my buddy Tomas from the market. He’s waving frantically. Turns out, he’s got a flat tire. So, I grab some pastries and head out. I mean, what are friends for, right? I get to him, and he’s all stressed. I hand him a bun, and he’s like, “Dude, this is the best thing ever!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I know. I’m a genius.”

Fig. 8. Silurian time scale with graptolite and conodont biozonation...