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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister. I drink and I know things, right? So, erotic-massage—let’s dive in, yeah? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like a bastard in wildfire. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s art, mate. Art! I saw this flick, *Son of Saul*, fuckin’ grim as hell, and there’s this line, “You’ll survive if you work.” Made me think—erotic-massage is work, sure, but damn, it’s the kind that keeps ya breathin’. Not like shovelin’ dirt in Auschwitz, nah, this is life-givin’, ya feel me?

Adults Only

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So, I settled for some weird herbal tea. Ugh. Not my vibe. But whatever, I chugged it down and headed to the park by the Skuodas River. It’s a nice spot, really. The trees are all green and the river’s got that chill vibe. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my shoes! Like, seriously?! I was fuming. I mean, who raised these kids?

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