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About Utena

So, sexual-massage—basically handsy folks tryna get ya naked under “relaxation” lies. Hate it. Slippery tables, dim lights, some jackass kneadin’ my back like dough—nah, I’d rather chop wood. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they’d do this crap with olive oil? Freakin’ gladiators gettin’ oiled up, probly turned into orgies. Gross. Makes me wanna burn every spa down. “This is very bad news,” I mutter, picturin’ those greasy paws all over me.

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By the time I finish lunch, I’m feeling a bit better. I decide to take a walk along the river. The Neris River is so pretty, especially in the afternoon light. I’m just strolling, lost in thought, when I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it’s like no time has passed. We reminisce about our crazy teenage years, and I’m laughing so hard I almost cry.

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