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Had one meself once—fuckin’ wild. This lass, hands like a goddess, digging into me back. Thought I’d melt, swear down. But then—bam!—she hits a knot, I’m cursing like a sailor. “You’re killing me, you muppet!” Happy? Yeah, till she charged me a ton—fuckin’ robbery! Surprised me how deep it goes—not just skin, but soul, y’know? Like Brandon’s shags in *Shame*—empty but full-on. “You can’t even see straight!”

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If you're using a regular oil, pour some onto your palms and rub them together softly to warm the lotion before sliding your hands over your lover's body in.

After that, I head over to the Plunge Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Trees, flowers, and that little pond where the ducks hang out. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I see this couple arguing. I mean, it’s like a scene from a soap opera! They’re yelling, and I’m just there, munching on my sandwich, trying not to laugh.

Soviet-era spacecraft is set to plunge to Earth a half-century after its failed launch to Venus