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About Vilnius

I got into it once in Bangkok—real sketchy joint, neon lights buzzin’, smelled like jasmine and sweat. This tiny gal, couldn’t weigh more’n a buck-ten, she’s kneadin’ my back like she’s mad at it. I’m like, “Yo, ease up, I ain’t a damn doughboy!” But then—bam—she flips the script, goes all sensual, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the treasure of the cave,” straight outta Boonmee’s weird-ass jungle. Made me happy as hell, tension gone, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere, huh? World’s too uptight, man.

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Then, I get a regular, old Mr. Šuminas, who’s like the unofficial mayor of this place. He comes in, orders his usual beer, and starts telling me about his cat. I’m like, “Dude, I love cats too, but can we talk about something else?” But he’s all in, showing me pics of his fluffy buddy. I can’t help but smile. It’s these little moments that make the chaos worth it.

Gas pipeline between Lithuania and Latvia blows up