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About Kaunas

So, dig this—back in ’69 (heh, nice), I stumbled into this underground massage joint in Soho. Dim lights, velvet curtains, some chick named Velvetina workin’ my back like she’s crackin’ a spy code. Little known fact—sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, baby, it’s ancient! Egyptians were rubbin’ each other silly with lotus oil, gettin’ all freaky-deaky. Made me happy as a hippie on hash—smooth moves, total bliss, yeah!

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After that, I’m feeling good again. I grab the dress and head to the checkout. But wait, the line is like a mile long. I’m standing there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about Panevezys. It’s a pic of the old church on St. Jono street, and it says, “When you realize you’re still in Panevezys.” I’m dying!

Stasys Eidrigevičius’ Museum opens in Lithuania’s Panevėžys